ZOMBIE ARTICLE DIES ONLINE

By Phil Space

AS HALLOWEEN fast approaches, the sound of bottom of the barrels being scraped rings out around the News & Scar.

The Scroogequest-run “newspaper” in Carlisle recently published a made-up list of “The Best Places To Hide Locally In The Event Of A Zombie Apocalypse”.

(The paper’s downsized mini-offices wasn’t one of them.)

To read this article online, readers are expected to cough up £5 for five months access to what Scroogequest shamelessly calls “trusted local news”.

The article also died a death in its online comments section.

One contributor uncharitably suggested “burning this rag to keep warm in winter”.

(A bit harsh).

Another asked if Newsquest “has too many journalists with not enough real stories to go round”.

Recent stunning “news articles” include: The location of police camera vans; the top pubs to visit according to Google; a look back at local cat lovers in 2016; and a parody American Tik-Tokker who deliberately confuses local place names in the Lake District.

Trusted clickbait of the lowest order…

AT the other end of Cumbria, The Evening Snail in Barrow has been passing off as “news” a highly predictable piece about police union bosses being worried about police officer shortages in Cumbria.

Trouble is, the article credited to The Mail’s “Chief Reporter” is suspiciously similar to a press statement posted online a full FORTNIGHT ago by coppers’ union, the Cumbria Police Federation.