PAPER PARROTS COUNCIL-SPEAK

28/05/2025: CRUMBRIA

STRATEGIC realignments…additional contributions…revised funding strategies… catalyse economic growth…city centre connectivity!

Don’t blame us for the Council-speak. Blame Carlisle snoozepaper, the News & Shrug!

The tanking tabloid appears to have withdrawn from plain English when it comes to reporting the affairs of Labour-daft Crumberland Council.

That’s if a densely bureaucratic article about the publicly-funded Carlisle Station Gateway Project is anything to go by.

In an article that obscures meaning rather than reveals it, we’re wondering how the piece ever made it into print without being frostily sent back to the Churnalist responsible for a translation into English.

The paper seems to see its role as a parrot for the Council hierarchy.

So we suggest that you take anything that it writes with a hefty soupçon of sodium chloride.

We ran the article through an online critique programme. Here’s its findings:

The article has a lack of clarity and concision. The official narrative is unquestioned. There is a lack of local perspective and no journalistic effort to interrogate the claims such as whether the £28 million redevelopment is on time, on budget, or actually addressing the practical needs of residents and commuters. Words like “pivotal,” “revitalisation,” and “catalyse economic growth” go unquestioned.

“The article mentions a jump from £20 million to £28 million due to “strategic realignments” and new contributors like Network Rail — but doesn’t explain what those realignments were and why more money was needed.

“The piece is stuffed with developer and government buzzwords: “gateway,” “urban fabric,” “decarbonisation goals,” “seamlessly integrate,” etc. The article should translate this into plain English or challenge it.

Readers are left with vague promises.

In summary: This article is a polished echo of a council press pack. It suffers from: