MAN DOES JOB SCANDAL OUTRAGE

CRUMBRIA: 07/08/2025

UNACCUSTOMED as we are to defending Crumbria’s political establishment, we feel compelled to pipe up today on behalf of Cllr Jonathan Brook, leader of Wokemoreland & Farcical Council.

The Lib Dem head honcho has just been “exposed” by Barrow “newspaper”, the Evening Snail, for claiming a mere £5,000 in expenses over a year.

The Snail, clearly desperate for Council news during the summer doldrums, uncovered this uninteresting “non-scandal” by lodging a Freedom of Information request.

Unfortunately, anyone with a rudimentary understanding of local politics knows that Cllr Brook, from Kendal, whose soporific voice is impossible to listen to for more than three minutes, is whiter than freshly fallen snow.

So there was NO front-page scandal buried in the figures.

Not to be put off, the Snail had already set up the stocks and wanted a head to go in them.

Cllr Brook, they desperately crowed, had “Topped the expenses leaderboard!” with his £5,000 claim.

The Chronic has worked out that the Council leader claimed the equivalent of just £13.50 a day for the likes of travel, mileage, accommodation, etc.

It’s hardly Tory MP duck pond territory!

And every Council leader claims the most expenses on their authority because they’re the ones doing the most travelling/glad-handing!

This is a fact widely known in Local Government circles, just not on the Snail.

While it’s good public service journalism to keep track of what councillors are taking from the trough, years back, any half-sensible paper would have spiked this as a “non-story”.

Especially when you consider that the bulk of Cllr Brook’s bill was obviously accumulated by his requirement to traipse arse up and down to London for boreathons with Government bigwigs about Devolution.

An issue, let it be said, that the Snail and other media here have been banging on about for months!

The media gets a hard time. None more so than on this website, thanks to our spectrum-like, impossibly high expectations of those who rule over us.

Whilst we don’t necessarily agree with today’s characterisation of the mainstream media in Britain as biased, brainless, spineless, feckless, feeble, careless, useless, hopeless, work-shy, woke, weak-kneed, timid, neutered, navel-gazing, know-nothing, know-it-all, soft-handed, soft-headed, submissive, self-indulgent, one-sided sell-outs….

…Sometimes they bloody DON’T help themselves!