By Ramsay Gordon
A NEWSPAPER in Barrow has been given a lowly one-star rating for serving up old news.
Fast news outlet, The Evening Snail, formerly of Shabby Road, scored 1 out of 5 in an inspection.
Inspectors looked at how news is prepared, how news is handled, how news is stored and where news is sourced from.
Some news sold as “fresh” was in fact “stale” or sometimes reheated, horrified inspectors found.
They found that some news contained actual shit – leaving a funny taste in the mouth or a horrible smell.
They concluded that some news served is only safe to consume with a hefty pinch of salt.
Inspectors visited The Snail’s premises in Barrow but did not gain entry because the premises no longer exists.
A jokesman for the Evening Snail in Kendal said: “We have been very busy cooking up a lot of news using unqualified chefs. Therefore, we have had to resort to serving stale leftovers.”
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