CRUMBRIA: 27/03/2025
THE dim and distant days of Radio Cumbria at its best grow ever more, er, dim and distant.
Once upon a morning after a Government finance blockbuster, you could always rely on the station’s Breakfast Show to set the county’s news agenda by providing key local voices with intelligent analysis.
But that was in the olden days when the Chronic’s website was all just fields.
Quality news made in Annetwell Street, Carlisle, is now rarer than wings on a pig.
Out-of-county controllers long ago sacked off the grey cardigans to marry off the station to its big, ugly sister, BBC Lancashire.
Glaringly obvious result? They created a ‘Frankenstation’.
And the bright sparks now button-twiddling at BBC Crumbria continue to reel from an on-air identity crisis.
(Not quite tacky enough to be crassly commercial, not quite serious enough for in-depth news.)
Too many gaps are now awkwardly filled with mindless chit-chat from intelligent journalistic types who too readily fill the dead air with matey-matey, bloke-bloke Carlisle United footy bantz that you could hear in Wetherspoons.
We digress.
This morning, “Radio Dumbria” broadcast a half-arsed segment on the Spring Statement.
The station’s economic deep dive was jemmied in just before 9am and ran to an investigative, er, two and a bit minutes.
(The Chronic may have missed an earlier, longer treatment.)
During the shorter piece before 9am, the attention of many may well have been lost when Radio Crumbria’s energetic Political Editor (based 60 miles away in Newcastle), embarked on an unwise and instantly forgettable explanation of the definition of “imputed rent”.
Tricky at the best of times, impossible when you possess a dull northern “Ey up” monotone that sounds like your dog’s just been run over.
The Spring Statement section then segued into boring bite-sized soundbites featuring Barrow Labour MP Michelle Scrogerm and Lib Dem MP Tim Farron.
Both MPs were permitted to blether away completely unchallenged without pausing for breath, and no journalistic shots were fired in reply.
Needless to say, in a Force 8 exclusive that rocked the foundations of the county today, BBC Radio Crumbria listeners discovered that Barrow’s Labour MP AGREES with her party that welfare cuts are for the good and betterment of all!
Saint Timbo – who, after two decades in politics, has never held a position remotely near one of the Great Offices of State was also allowed to parp on about everything the Lib Dems would fix.
Well, butter our collective butt cheeks and bang us in the oven for 40 minutes, Balders.
With both MPs given such an easy ride by the station, wiser listeners may have formed the following impression.
Was a low-ranking station junior in Crumbria – perhaps learning their BBC How To Press Buttons and Talk To Strangers qualification – dispatched with a mic to our MPs but under no pressure to ask them any hardball questions?
And was this audio compiled in the field, then sent back to the station to be digitally stitched together as a “package” for the political reporter to loom in and moan over?
We don’t know for sure, but it’s sure as shite what it sounded like.
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thecumbriachronic.co.uk 
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