By Phil Torpedoes
A NEW submarine built in Crumbria has been named.
HMS Indefensible is the sister boat to HMS Armageddonouttahere.
It follows HMS Inexcusable, HMS Inactive, HMS Unstable and HMS Unsinkable III back into the submarine garage.
The ‘Hider-Seeker’ class submarine is the most technically advanced of its type since the last one; making them impossible to fix.
It can spend six months underwater monitoring distant whale burps and fish farts in the Barents Sea.
Taking a mere 13 years to construct, it can kill everyone in 14 seconds.
It is part of the UK’s commitment to “mutually assured destruction” (MAD for short).
In a symbolic ceremony dating back hundreds of years, submarine sponsor Lady Saidwell officially named the new boat by smashing her head repeatedly against its hull.
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