COUNCIL LINGO’S NEW LOW

By Phil Spreadsheets

THE inaugural Cumbria Chronic Award for “Cockamamie Councilspeak” this week goes to Wokemoreland & Farcical Council.

The unitary Council – which could barely empty the bins in the People’s Democratic Republik of Barrovia over Christmas – has just given birth to an impenetrable 16-page presentation about becoming a “Community Power” council.

The presentation will make no sense to anyone apart from its authors.

The Council, long prone to talking the most awful balls, is being urged to consider swapping the use of traditional words such as: “Residents, customers and users” for, and we quote: “Citizens, communities and participants.”

With trademark head-in-the-clouds guff, Council officers are striving to create what they call: “Horizontal connections..shaped by a shared vision for change.”

???

The Commie dream sequence does not stop there…

The Council has stated that it also aspires to be a “Facilitative and collaborative partner” with a “Collaboration Model which incentivises flexibility.”

!!!

The document also references “Storytelling” and Q&As with the Council’s Chief Executive, Sam Plum (Job), who is paid £182,000.

Possible question 1: Why the bejesus is she paid so much?

The Council officer overseeing this absurd self-indulgent dirge at the tax-hiking authority is also not short of brass.

She’s paid up to £55,000 a year to oversee these highly ambiguous directives.

Councillors on the Lib Dem dictatorship running the show have agreed to award this nonsense £1 million a year over the next two years.

Time for taxpayers to wake up and smell the Kenco by demanding a Department for Council Efficiency.