PAPER SHRUGS AT COUNCIL CUT

CRUMBRIA: 13.09.2025

DROWSY Penrith snoozepaper — the Slumberland & Westmoreland Imperilled — has finally noticed that Wokemoreland & Farcical Council is binning WEEKLY rubbish collections.

This week’s earth-shattering scoop on its front page has actually been in the wind since, er, last November, when the Lib Dem dictatorship in charge unleashed one of its famed “public consultations”.

The impending loss of the weekly blue bag pick-ups in Penrith was hinted at in the paper last week in a garbled forewarning inexplicably demoted to p.10.

And days after the actual Council decision, the paper finally woke up to the news and ran it as its page one “splash”.

No effort was made in the Saturday paper to add extra sauce to liven up Tuesday’s decision. The former newspaper offered precisely zero new angles or fresh reaction.

Rather like fellow weakly paper, the Crumbling News, the paper seems to passively accept Council decisions as a done deal.

Gone are the days of robustly interrogating them afterwards on behalf of Taxpayers.

Such cack-handed treatment of a sneaky service cut once again calls into question the weakly broadsheet’s claims that when it comes to news, it is the “Best Barr None!”