PAPER’S ‘BISCUITGATE’ BACKFIRES!

CRUMBRIA: 01.10.2025

PRETEND “journalists” at the News & Shrug have uncovered a massive NON-SCANDAL at Crumberland Council.

The cash-strapped authority spent a shocky horror £10,000 on food and refreshments over, er, two years, wails the tanking Carlisle tabloid.

With dozens of committee meetings taking place at the council, the cost of refreshments works out at about £400 a month.

That’s loose change down the back of the sofa — and hardly Premier League hospitality box territory.

Does the local rag seriously expect councillors not to wet their whistle while sitting through hours of droneathons powered solely by civic duty and fluorescent lighting?

As one reader told the alleged newspaper in its own comments section:

“I’ve never worked anywhere where people were asked to self-contribute to meeting refreshments. An absolute non-story!”

Quite.

Far be it from us to defend the Labour-daft council, but the paper has a long track record of not publishing much larger financial stories than Biscuitgate.

For instance, Crumberland Council handed over £140,000 in just ten months to one company.

That’s the equivalent of £14,000 A MONTH.

The company?

Scroogequest, which owns the, er, News & Shrug — whose adolescents now have the brass neck to slag off the council for daring to spend £10,000– on custard creams and PG Tips over TWO YEARS.

Funny what counts as waste when it isn’t going into your own pocket.