MARCUS THE MARTYR RETURNS!

CRUMBRIA: 9.03.2026

THE shadowy spin doctors operating for Labour MP Markus Campbell-Savours appear to have been earning their not inconsiderable salaries recently.

A wave of flattering headlines swept through Crumbria at news that the famous farm tax rebel for Penrith & Solway has finally been allowed back among the Labour ranks.

Having been on the political naughty step since December, the impressionable local media here has almost created the impression of shotguns being blasted over farmhouses as joyous sons of the soil celebrated the MP’s victorious return.

But many articles carried the distinct whiff of press release.

Cumbria Slack, the frenetically industrious press release aggregator and sister to a sleepy Penrith snoozepaper, trumpeted his Second Coming as thus:

And how many BBC reporters does it take to cover an MP’s statement to the media?

TWO.

One to press “cut” and the other to press “paste.”

A joint byline (below) for Richard Moss, North East and Cumbria Political Editor, and regional colleague Pamela Tickell.

Of course, neither of the BBC’s dynamic duo interrogated the MP’s statement or asked any burning questions.

If nice guy Markus was wrong, why has Labour brought him back? If he was right, why suspend him in the first place?

And the big question really is – why rejoin a club that doesn’t want you to speak your mind?

Isn’t that like being a member of a CULT?

Whilst Markus the Martyr deserves some comparisons to the lone man bravely standing up to the Government machine, he wasn’t entirely alone.

Around 30 other chicken wings abstained from Labour’s disastrous inheritance tax vote.

Those without the memory of a goldfish will remember that he initially voted FOR the Government budget containing the original inheritance tax raid, and then voted DOWN a motion condemning ‘Keirnocchio’ for breaking promises to farmers.

It was only in the wake of some, er, polite feedback involving Massey Fergusons that the Cumbrian MP suddenly had pause for reflection and did a rebel yell.

Addressing his return to Labour last week, the MP, who can bring a tear to a glass eye with his earnestness, said:

“I will always do what I can to look after our people in Cumbria.”

But before we start organising ‘Savours Day’ and planning a statue, let voters also be reminded that the MP courageously supported removing universal winter fuel payments for pensioners before the Government’s screeching U-turn.

How does that square with his statement that he will “always look after” the people of Cumbria?