FARRON FIGHTS BACK FROM FIFTH

CRUMBRIA: 07.06.2026

THE Glib Dems, fresh from coming bottom in the Barrow by-election with just 69 votes, have insisted to the local rags that they are the only party capable of stopping Reform UK in Crumbria.

That’s an astonishing take from last place on the ballot paper.

Tim Farron MP, vicar of Wokemoreland out of whose backside our local rags consider that the sun doth shine, told gullible young churnalists that the Lib Dems are “best placed to stop the threat of Reform” when it comes to next year’s local elections.

(Impressionable teenage hacks scurried back to their bedrooms to print his party political broadcast word for word after Reform UK candidate, Hazel Edwards, dared to, er, democratically win a seat on Wokemoreland & Farcical Council.)

The party in power on W&F Council, of course, is the Tim Farron Fan Club (President: T. Farron.)

They’re a pontificating Lib Dem dictatorship based in Kendal, Penrith and the Lakes, who have spent years benefiting from the political status quo and now seem baffled that anyone might want to throw a brick through it.

Tim reckons voting Lib Dems is the only way to stop Nigel Farage’s “divisive politics” in next year’s elections for the new Mayor of Cumbria, and the Council.

(The Lib Dem candidate in this week’s Barrow by-election polled less than 3% of the vote.)

A small democratic anomaly overlooked by our gormless comics who printed Tim’s tactical voting instruction without a single bit of push back.

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