CRUMBRIA: 22.7.2026
THE gags keep coming at the joke factory that is Wokemoreland & Farcical Clowncil.
Staring at a £43m funding hole, the Lib Dem dictatorship has hit on the brainwave of creating a nauseating new honours scheme to dish out gongs to former Councillors.
Honorary Alderman or Alderwoman titles will be handed to former Councillors judged by serving Councillors to have rendered “eminent services”.
Also known as: The Award for Doing Your Job Award.
The Chronic might understand a thank you to Councillors who spent decades organising litter picks.
But that’s not what this backslapping scheme is about.
The new Honours club loads the dice heavily in favour of former Council leaders, deputy leaders, political group leaders and committee chairs or vice-chairs.
In other words, the senior grey men and women who have ruined Local Government here by forcing national agendas into our Town Halls.
Successful nominees will get a certificate for over the fireplace, their name on a board at South Lakeland House, Kendal, and special invitations to slap-up civic lunches.
(Another cucumber sandwich, Alderman?)
You don’t need to work at Paddy Power to predict where the bulk of the award nominations will go.
Kendal-based Lib Dems have the most bums on seats in the Council chamber and lorded it over South Lakeland District Council for nearly 20 years.
So nobody should hold their breath waiting for Barrow Labour councillors or Eden Tories to dominate the first shortlist.
Nor can it be entirely coincidental that this new backslapping system is being invented before next summer’s Council elections.
Could a few Lib Dem long-servers be preparing to step down before next May’s poll—forcing the Council to invent a new way of applauding them on the way out?
We’re sure the Chronic’s got it all arse about face.
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