MILLIONAIRE’S DOSH FOR TOSH

23.6.2026: Crumbria

AS Crumbria’s most nakedly ambitious MP, Tosh MacAlister continues to attract admirers with the deepest of deep pockets.

Big-time Labour donor and former supermarket tycoon, Lord David Sainsbury has thrown no less than £40,000 of dosh in the direction of the Whitehaven & Wokeington Labour MP.

The first £20,000 arrived last July. Another £20,000 landed in March 2026.

The £40,000 investment has gone not into the MP’s back sky rocket, we should make clear.

It has gone through Labour’s official local or central party machinery, reveals Tosh’s latest register of interests.

All above board and no wrongdoing intended or implied.

But what, precisely, was the Tosh dosh for?

The official description is that it was to support Tosh’s activities as an MP.

It does not say whether the money paid for political staff, campaigning, leaflets, research, or simply topping up the tank of the Tosh MacAlister self-advancement machine.

Lord Sainsbury, whose personal wealth is estimated at circa £860m, is clearly a man of the, er, people.

No doubt his only preoccupation in life is the Dickensian living conditions of local marras.

Perhaps the alleged former newspaper, the Times & Starmer, Wokeington, might unleash one of its scrupulously independent and razor sharp local hacks to ask the W&W Labour Party a reasonable question.

What was the money spent on?

Or are the donations simply further evidence, if ever it was needed, that someone, somewhere sees Tosh – (the world’s greatest ever living politician) – as the man with all the answers to our woes?

Yesterday, as the “King of the North” was roared home in the reptile house, the young Rochdalian had a prime front-row seat.

There Tosh was, grinning like a Cheshire Cat in the direction of the man being fast-tracked to become King of the Country.

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