COUNCIL’S GREEN BIN SHIT SHOW

CRUMBRIA: 20.6.2026

PUBLIC fury over the looming £60 grass-clippings charge continues to be ignored by Penrith snoozepaper The Slumberland & Westmoreland Imperilled.

This week, Wokemoreland & Farcical Clowncil sent around another helpful little press release to remind the public that there is still time to fork out for a service they used to get free.

The Penrith rag — which has an uncanny ability to be looking the other way when disaster strikes at the Lib Dem dictatorship — dutifully cut and pasted the Council’s announcement into this week’s edition to fill another hole where actual news used to go.

Not for the first time, “reporters” forgot to tell readers that the public’s piss continues to quickly achieve 100°C at the merest mention of the Council’s latest money-spinning wheeze.

Online at least, the Penrith public remain firmly on their hind legs – branding the charge “daylight robbery”, a “stealth tax” and more evidence of “rip-off Britain”.

Some residents were openly complaining this week that they have paid up to the Council and still have no sticker.

Others have moaned about getting the full deluxe Council experience: paying the charge, waiting for the sticker, and still not getting their grass collected.

A rough count of online comments found about eight in ten are hostile to the Green Bin shit show and accurately forecast that all that will happen is cuttings will be thrown in with general waste or dumped at roadsides and recycling points.

Could the Penrith snoozepaper have missed all this grinding of teeth and flailing of arms because it was taking place where former readers of the Herald now go to vent their spleen?

Namely, the Facebook page of local website Penrith Town News which regularly doles out the short, sharp, shock treatment to the Council.

A situation that should terrify the 180-year-old print dinosaur, still lumbering around, oblivious to the massive asteroid now on a direct trajectory towards its brittle skull.

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