MYSTERY OF COUNCIL BOSS CULL

CRUMBRIA: 15.6.2026

DARK day for directors at Wokemoreland Council.

Our dying, if not dead, local rag informed readers today that two director posts at W&F have been “axed” as part of the cost-cutting.

(The Snail – never one for having its ear to the correct keyhole – neglected to say which directors are making an abrupt departure, or whether either departee jumped overboard clutching a fat cheque.)

W&F previously had six common or garden variety directors.

The Unsuper Six were on salaries of up to £155,000 each.

At the top of their bands, they cost £932,000 a year before pensions!

We can confidently say that few tears will be shed; the public won’t notice.

From July, an Unfab Four directors will be left behind – their pain softened by new lanyards bearing the legend: “Strategic Director”.

It’s also not clear from The Snail whether this far-from-awesome foursome is in for a pay rise, on the grounds that their already intolerable workloads have now increased.

Essentially, what is being flogged as a new “get-tough” round of cost-savings may actually mean the Lib Dem dictatorship both saving money and spending it.

Has the Council been flinging around the fivers in redundancy pay-outs, settlement agreements or larger pay packets?

The Snail didn’t say.

And what has happened on the rung below the directors?

Namely, the Council’s supporting cast of “assistant directors”, which is as long as the extras list from Ben Hur?

The average pay of the 19 assistant directors – “ADs” for those fluent in Councilese – is anywhere between £95,000 and £106,000, for a total of up to £2m a year.

The Snail says the 19 ADs could be slashed to 12 – a bullet festival.

(We’re not sure Westmorland & Furness can survive without an Assistant Director of “Safe and Strong Communities” or a head honcho of “Quality, Resources, Transformation and Integration.”)

Thankfully, the senior management grim reaper stalking the town hall won’t be visiting every office.

Miranda Cannon, chief exec, Westmorland and Furness Council — MCF, CEO of W&F

New chief executive Miranda Cannon-Fodder (left) survives to struggle by on £188,000 a year, ably assisted by an assistant chief executive on up to £131,000.

And does this shake-up at the Council shed new light on last December’s departure of former boss, Sam Plum-Job?

Against all reasonable forecasts, she took early retirement with a sudden motivation to spend more time with her motorhome.

Which is a damn sight preferable to spending the summer batch-signing leaving cards.