SAFE SPACES AGAINST REFORM

CRUMBRIA: 25.6.2026

ANY Reformers who think they can waltz into Cumbria’s councils next summer and fix everything need to wake up and smell the Mellow Birds.

Elections to Cumbria’s two councils take place next summer. Reform may fancy its chances, but if it does take control, it should expect massive political resistance from, er, Council staff.

Take Norfolk County Council. Run by Labour for two decades, the elections there wiped out the party and returned a minority-led Reform council.

Labour-affiliated staff union reps on the Council were far from cock-a-hoop at the results.

Card-carrying unionistas in the authority have started organising “safe space sessions” for deeply traumatised Council staff.

Rabble rousers have been urging staff to become union members and dark hints are being dropped about “future campaigns and actions”.

Fire up the bio-ethanol stove, comrade!

Reform hit back: “Here we have a Labour-affiliated union – operating at a Council with just one Labour councillor – organising needless snowflake sessions.”

Reform, it has to be said, steamed into the Council with all the sensitivity of a 20-tonne bin lorry reversing into a staff breastfeeding session.

Reform has made no secret of ripping up the Council’s Net Zero policies and also sparked panic among staff by having the temerity to review their cosy “working from home” agreements.

One of Reform’s first acts was to topple the “Progress Pride” flag flown from County Hall, Norwich.

That sparked a “rainbow rebellion” among Council staff who have militantly taken to wearing rainbow badges and plastering the emblem on computer screens in a raging show of defiance.

The Council’s, er, “People from Abroad” department is also being lined up for the fiscal chainsaw.

As Norwich voters are finding out, Reform may have won the battle.

But the rainbow lanyards plan on winning the war.

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