CRUMBRIA: 26.02.2026
READERS of the News & Shrug may be forgiven for wondering whether its latest “news story” about Cumberland Council’s headlong gallop towards “Council of Sanctuary status” was written by a reporter or dictated into a dictaphone somewhere deep inside the Civic Centre.
Next week, Crumberland councillors are being invited to merely “note” a petition signed by more than 1,000 local residents objecting to the Labour council’s plan to confer “Sanctuary Status” upon North and West Cumbria.
In other words: Cheers for writing in. Decision already made!
The article, like so many before it in the tanking Carlisle tabloid, consists entirely of weedy committee-speak lifted wholesale from Council paperwork.
No journalistic challenge. No questions. Just municipal ventriloquism, served up as news.
Buried deep inside the jargon is the only fact that matters.

The Labour-daft Council has already submitted its application for Sanctuary Status.
The ship hasn’t just sailed — it’s halfway across the English Channel.
Previous attempts to block Sanctuary Status for Cumberland were defeated by the Council’s Labour majority and the Council chamber’s supportive left-leaning parties.
Given how polarising the subject is, you might expect a once-campaigning local rag to do something radical.
Pick up the phone. Speak to the petition organiser. At least ask the opposition councillors what they think?
Not a bit of it. This is the News & Shrug!

The Council insists Sanctuary Status doesn’t mean more budding doctors, astronauts or engineers coming to North and West Cumbria.
Readers are invited to trust the Council’s word, as the alleged newspaper has already done so on their behalf.

Deputy Labour leader, Cllr Lisa Hinton, has said previously that it will be a “proud moment” when Sanctuary Status is confirmed and that the Council wants to ensure that anyone, whether they have lived in Cumberland for an hour or a lifetime, feels “secure and welcome”.
Curiously, several signatories to the petition allege that they already feel anything but.
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READ MORE: Objection to north and west Cumbria sanctuary considered
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