coniston – thecumbriachronic.co.uk

CRUMBRIA: 3.03.2026

TOP-floor NHS Daleks in South Crumbria have been taking a kicking today in a national newspaper

According to today’s Daily Torygraph, Coniston faces being left without a doctor.

But why?

*Today’s Daily Telegraph. Click link to go to page (subscription required)*

Because its patient list — around 1,100 — seems too small and financially unviable to attract GPs to take over.

Most doctors’ practices are independent businesses contracted by the NHS.

They’re paid largely on a per-patient basis, with extras for targets and add-ons.

The NHS contract works best for doctors based in towns with 10,000 patients or more. Less so in smaller, rural areas like the Lakes.

You could say a massive rethink is required for the NHS contract!

The NHS Lancashire and South Cumbria Integrated Care Board (ICB), headquartered in, er, Preston, also doesn’t come out of today’s story well.

It was variously accused of “poor planning, communication and hiding behind spreadsheet logic”.

(Surely not!)

Brainboxes at the ICB launched the tender for a new Coniston GP on, er, Christmas Eve — during winter crisis season — and with only a very short window for bids.

Unsurprisingly, no one came forward despite a well-made community video which went viral.

The ICB criticised today is now led by Aaron Cummings (left).

He honed his skill for babbling in anagrams and healthcare riddles at the University Hospitals of Morecambe Bay NHS Foundation Trust (UHMBT), which runs Furness General Hospital.

After 11 years, Cummings left UHMBT as its chief executive late last year for the top job at the ICB — the very same body tied up in the wildly unpopular decision regarding intensive care proposals affecting FGH in Barrow!

His jumping ship has paid off.

At UHMBT, Cummins received around £250,000 a year. The ICB package in 2024/25 was a mere £350,000.

He must be well on his way to becoming a millionaire under the National Wealth Service, if he’s not already.

Meanwhile, spirited 91-year-old Coniston resident Judy Jones rhetorically asked The Telegraph: “What would I do without this surgery?

“I’ll probably die.”

Bang your pots and pans, ladies and gentlemen, for the finest health service in the world!

***

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Yours, A Patient

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