writing – Page 4 – thecumbriachronic.co.uk

CRUMBRIA: 17.08.2025

THE joke factory that is Wokemoreland & Farcical Council has been kicked all over Fakebook for its latest creative idea to propel cash up brickwork.

Council brain boxes have been read the online Riot Act after it crept out that it’s spending £165,000 of Taxpayers’ money on solving that age-old crisis: “Where do we meet?”

The Council is lavishing a huge stash on a fancy pants “computerised room-booking system,” the Evening Snail unearthed in a rare outbreak of journalism.

Readers of the independent news site, PenrithTown.co.uk, have been going up the wall on its Facebook page.

They’ve branded the stunt: “Dreadful…a sick joke…surely, a wind up…a parody played out in reality.”

It brings to mind those days when all you needed to do to book a room was ring the front counter and ask: “Is Room 2 free at three, please?”

The Council, run by a coterie of snaggle-toothed Lib Dems, is going to hand the money to a firm dahn sarf.

The firm involved is not called We Saw You Coming Ltd.

What’s the betting that the decision to shell out £165,000 for a new meetings system has required, er, loads of meetings!

Anyone would think that the Council is still toiling away on Netscape Navigator.

Only in the Public Sector is this largesse tolerated.

Yet there’s been no official objection from the Tories on the Council, who appear to be shadows of their former shadows.

As a result, the public is forced to witness this waste of money like shop window dummies.

Polar bears in the Shap area will be breathing a sigh of relief at the Council’s decision.

W&F insists that the new ICT system will support its “climate and biodiversity ambitions”.

Kudos to The Snail’s council reporter for being FIRST to give us the bones of a skeleton story. But there’s a lot more to be uncovered.

Penrith snoozepaper, The Slumberland & Westmoreland Imperilled, now has the benefit of a full week to let loose its sleuths and excavate the entire patio.

Don’t hold your breath, Penrith readers.

The weakly broadsheet appears to have a blind spot for tackling the Lib Dem dictatorship.

Instead, acres of space are given over to shadowy and unnamed Council spokespeople to smooth over any reputational wrinkles that may suddenly appear.