TIM’S TIPTOE TOUR OF WEST BANK

CRUMBRIA: 9.03.2026

VOTERS in Kendal may have been under the impression that Saint Timothy Farron MP was elected to sort out problems in Westmorland, not the West Bank.

But the Lib Dem legend is not long back from a tiptoe tour of the not always tranquil territories.

Given the region’s reputation for, er, the occasional crossed word, Tim wisely packed emergency supplies of centrist dad nuance.

A good move. Having Ed Davey bouncing in on a novelty space-hopper waving a placard for tolerance might not have gone down too well.

On his return, the vicar of Wokemoreland & Loonsdale penned a very carefully calibrated article for a publication called Jewish News.

(It hardly sounds like an accidentally assembled panel of neutrals.)

Tim’s article was a heartfelt bit of classic Lib Dem fence-sitting. It brings to mind a cat which can’t decide which garden it wants to be in.

Even The Chronic – which has long embraced the old dictum ‘publish and be damned’- recognises that the West Bank is a slightly trickier parish to write about.

And Tim’s decision not to pick up a flag and scream in the face of the other side was quite refreshing in this age of political rabies.

Be that as it may, warm words will only get you so far in that part of the world.

The Chronic never had “Timbo” down as the man to crack the two-state solution.

His article suggests that peace in the Middle East lies a shade beyond even the MP’s legendary charm offensives in the foyer of Kendal Asda.

For his article, we award him our inaugural Medal for Outstanding Caution Under Fire.