LOCAL RAG GOES TWO-TIER KEIR

CRUMBRIA: 26.6.2026

WITH Keirnocchio now packing his suitcase with Lord Alli cast-offs and the Soviet red carpet being rolled out for the ‘King of the North’, West Crumbria’s Labour fanzine is oddly relaxed about unelected Prime Ministers.

There have been no thundering front page demands from the Times & Starmer for voters to have their say.

Instead, the former Workington rag scuttled off to local Labour MP Martyr Campbell-Savours for some completely unbiased reassurance that all is well in Labour la la land.

Markus Campell-Savours Mp — Markus Campbell-Savours

“If Andy Burnham… ends up as Labour leader and Prime Minister, I think it will be good for Cumbria,” the Penrith & Solway member was quoted as saying in a puff piece this week.

No hows. No whys. No quotes from the political opposition.

Just: Good for Crumbria.

Even a fresh out of college trainee churnalist would have asked the MP whether voters deserve a say at a General Election.

Yet four short years ago, when the dysfunctional Tory regime imploded, the approach at the Times & Starmer was noticeably different.

It tracked down the unsuccessful Labour candidate of 2019 who bellyached: “I’m happy to see the back of Boris Johnson, but a change of Tory leadership doesn’t mean a change in direction for the country!”

Then, when Liz Trusterfuck detonated her premiership with the ‘Kamikwasi’ budget, the paper got even bolder.

“We have elected a new Prime Minister,” moaned one of the paper’s most reliable left-wing columnists.

“Well, ‘we’ haven’t, but the Tory Party has,” she sniffed, before wondering aloud to readers whether LT would ever “venture north”.

Bizarrely, these remarks were used by the paper to introduce a nostalgia piece about the halycon days of 2009 when former Labour PM, Gorgon Brown, visited Workington while it was under, er, 10ft of water.

Funny how local papers operate.

When the Tories dick about with leaders, the Times & Starmer remembers that the opposition might have a view and the electorate might not be impressed.

When Labour does it, it’s merely a helpful little Government reset, with no cause for democratic alarm whatsoever.