COUNCIL TO DO A BIRMINGHAM?

CRUMBRIA: 05/07/2025

HARK! The Crumberland News has stumbled upon a simmering Council scandal this week.

In a welcome departure from its staple fodder, this wasn’t a tiresomely bureaucratic planning application or a dull preview of what someone plans to moan about at a subcommittee next week.

“500 workers to sue over unequal pay claim,” screamed the headline in an in-depth shocky horror probe running to 1,600 breath-defying words.

That’s 66 paragraphs, fact fans, but kudos to the young wordsmith for attempting to cover ALL political bases.

It appears that the legal action was started “late last year” which puts the paper a good half a year behind the eight ball.

Irony upon irony, the Labour-daft Council is being sued by po-faced fellow comrades on the unions. The comrades’ disgust of capitalism is well documented, although they rarely miss a chance for self-enrichment.

And the paper’s “special report” was so special that it bravely avoided asking the question that most readers care about…

How many millions of pounds is this legal action going to cost taxpayers?

The Chronic strongly suspects that, prior to publication, those in charge of overseeing what is published no longer have the time to go back to the reporter and get important questions such as this answered. Are they too distracted checking social media to see whether Helen Skelton has pumped today?

The paper made stark parallels between Crumberland Council’s financial situation and Birmingham Shitty Council which went bankrupt following an equal pay claim.

The comparison is wu-huh-hey over the top!

Birmingham is a much bigger city council with many thousands more staff than Crumberland and therefore more vulnerable to a mass payout.

Rather like the start of television series Casualty, where a minor character goes blindly about their daily business oblivious to the impending catastrophe the viewer sees unfolding, much the same seems to be happening on the paper.

And the Council.

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READ: 500 workers to sue over unequal pay claim

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