The Editor

CRUMBRIA: 9.7.2026

WOKEMORELAND Clowncil continues to fart arse about with senior pay.

The Council has been making a big song and dance about making “savings” with a senior management restructure.

But anyone trying to follow its accountancy card tricks will end up looking like a rabbit hypnotised by a snake.

It’s basically fewer snouts, bigger trough.

All it has actually done is tinker with its top team – cutting 29 senior posts to 25. They’ve also buggered about with job titles and redbadged assistant directors into directors.

And the top brass who survived this softly-softly restructure look set to be paid MORE than they were before – thanks to a 3.3% pay rise.

Of the 25 top jobs left, 24 now come with higher maximum salaries.

At the top end, that could cost Taxpayers nearly £100,000 more than before.

Miranda Cannon, chief exec, Westmorland and Furness Council

Only the frankly embarrassing pay of the Council chief executive – Miranda Cannon-Fodder – stays untouched at a measly £188,228.

That’s still circa £20,000 more than the Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland!

The important sums to note is that the basic wage bill for the Council’s top brass used to be between £3.2m and £3.5m.

Under the new structure, it will still cost between £2.9m and £3.2m.

So yes, £660,000 has “technically” been saved by deleting some of the lanyards at the top, but the ones left behind still share more in pay, which kind of defeats the object.

It’s as plain as bollocks on a boxer that the Council is playing smoke and mirrors.

Because the Council hasn’t said a word about golden goodbyes for the four made redundo?

And what about pensions?

The Council’s new “pay policy” statement says sweet Fanny Adams about those.

***Legal smoke and accountancy mirrors***

In 2025/26, more than a quarter-of-a-million pounds of pension payments were paid out to those at the top of the Council to help with their retirement pots.

Meanwhile staff at the bottom of the pile struggle by on a piss poor £25,949 a year – once the Living Wage supplement is added.

That’s SEVEN times less than the Big Cheese upstairs who no doubt spends her time banging on about equality and the need to find savings.

Needless to say, the Chronic’s take is that our Town Hall Fat Cats continue to pull down the pants of Taxpayers.

***