CRUMBRIA: 28.6.2026
HERE’S another story your local rag won’t be telling you about.
They might be about to lose one of their last big regular advertisers.
For years our obscure local newspapers have been propped up by our local Councils.
Crumberland Council and Wokemoreland Council are legally required to publish Public Notices in the local rags.
You know the sort — those unreadable small-print ads found in the back pages.
Desperate, profit-driven newspaper ad execs have long known that they’ve got Councils bent over a barrel.
With local authorities forced by law to advertise, greedy media companies dictate the ad rates every year, knowing the Councils have to cough up.
These Sicilian-style tactics have been a nice little bunsen burner. (Earner).
But all that could be coming to an end under the Labour Government — and rightly so.
Councils around the country were asked what they thought of this time-wasting exercise.
More than 90% said they were sick of paying through the nose for ads.
Councils also complained that newspaper ads were only reaching a piss poor 22% of the local population.
And 93% said there has got to be a better way to reach the public.
So the hour is fast approaching when Crumbria’s comics are ripped off the Taxpayer tit.
The Government hopes to soften the blow by creating a Local News Fund.
But with a pot of just £12m, it won’t be enough to stop your local rag from swinging the jobs axe.
For the time being, our Councils continue to shovel thousands of pounds of taxpayers’ money in their direction.
In April and May this year, the two councils spent more than £100,000 with Newsquest Media Group in Cumbria and Barrnon Media.
Scroogequest owns the News & Shrug, Carlisle; the Times & Starmer, Wokeington, and the Evening Snail, Kendal, among others.
Barrnon publishes The Slumberland & Westmoreland Imperilled, Penrith, and The Keswick Forgetful.
In one year alone recently, our two councils paid local newspapers £317,000 – enough to fund the salaries of a dozen profoundly demoralised Churnalists on £26k-a-year.
A timely reminder now that Scroogequest sent £22m of UK profits to its pin-striped, cigar-waving shareholders at its parent company in the good ole U S of A.
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