CRUMBRIA: 9.7.2026
WOKEMORELAND Clowncil continues to fart arse about with senior pay.
The Council has been making a big song and dance about making “savings” with a senior management restructure.
But anyone trying to follow its accountancy card tricks will end up looking like a rabbit hypnotised by a snake.
It’s basically fewer snouts, bigger trough.
All it has actually done is tinker with its top team – cutting 29 senior posts to 25. They’ve also buggered about with job titles and redbadged assistant directors into directors.
And the top brass who survived this softly-softly restructure look set to be paid MORE than they were before – thanks to a 3.3% pay rise.
Of the 25 top jobs left, 24 now come with higher maximum salaries.
At the top end, that could cost Taxpayers nearly £100,000 more than before.
Only the frankly embarrassing pay of the Council chief executive – Miranda Cannon-Fodder – stays untouched at a measly £188,228.
That’s still circa £20,000 more than the Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland!
The important sums to note is that the basic wage bill for the Council’s top brass used to be between £3.2m and £3.5m.
Under the new structure, it will still cost between £2.9m and £3.2m.
So yes, £660,000 has “technically” been saved by deleting some of the lanyards at the top, but the ones left behind still share more in pay, which kind of defeats the object.
It’s as plain as bollocks on a boxer that the Council is playing smoke and mirrors.
Because the Council hasn’t said a word about golden goodbyes for the four made redundo?
And what about pensions?
The Council’s new “pay policy” statement says sweet Fanny Adams about those.
In 2025/26, more than a quarter-of-a-million pounds of pension payments were paid out to those at the top of the Council to help with their retirement pots.
Meanwhile staff at the bottom of the pile struggle by on a piss poor £25,949 a year – once the Living Wage supplement is added.
That’s SEVEN times less than the Big Cheese upstairs who no doubt spends her time banging on about equality and the need to find savings.
Needless to say, the Chronic’s take is that our Town Hall Fat Cats continue to pull down the pants of Taxpayers.
***
Here are just seven examples of the “value for money” miracle in action:
Director of Adult Social Care
Was paid: £155,382
Now paid: £160,510
Increase: £5,128
Director of Children’s Services
Was: £155,382
Now: £160,510
Increase: £5,128
Director of Resources / S151 Officer
Was: £155,382
Now: £160,510
Increase: £5,128
Director of Law and Governance
Was: £131,296
Now: £135,629
Increase: £4,333
Director of Public Health, Strategy and Community Wellbeing
Was: £131,296
Now: £135,629
Increase: £4,333
Director of HR/OD
Was: £109,400
Now: £113,010
Increase: £3,610
Director of Finance / Deputy S151 Officer
Was: £109,400
Now: £113,010
Increase: £3,610
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THE SURVIVING ’25’ IN FULL
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