DON’T TRUST MAYORAL HYPE

CRUMBRIA: 20/05/2025

CUT & PASTE Churnalists in Crumbria have been giving a bore-by-bore account of a spin-filled press release about Devolution and Mayors.

Northern Mayors Launch New Partnership To Boost Jobs And Prosperity! trilled The Times & (Red) Starmer.

The Wokeington comic is reliably first out of the blocks to gullibly publish anything that makes Keirnochhio’s Government sound vaguely competent.

The T&S reports that existing northern Mayors have got together to unveil “The Great North” – a not-at-all blatant branding exercise designed to make the distant North feel slightly more prosperous by changing its name.

Remember the Northern Powerhouse and The North West Regional Development Agency?

(If these politicians and public sector nonsense-talkers were any good at business, they’d be running them!)

The “newspaper” promises that the new political talking shop could grow the region’s economy by £118 billion with lots of spin-off benefits for Crumbria.

Yeah, righto.

(The only growth The Chronic foresees is the growth in waistlines as various elected Mayors, Council gasbags and their associated hangers on swan off to regional “business breakfasts” to talk out of their arseholes from breakfast till midnight. All on expenses, naturally!)

Expect Manchester/Liverpool etc to get all the serious dosh and Crumbria to get crumbs!

Launched in Leeds with a lot of hot air, vol-eu-vents and elderflower mineral water, The Great North promises “corridors”, “summits”, and “pan-northern propositions” — all impressively vague.

Impressionable young Churnalists must be the only people to swallow this Marketing and PR swill.

Long gone are the days when the county’s newspapers rigorously interrogated what they’ve been sent by a spotty-arsed Spin Doctor.

What are our hacks taught these days at Churnalism Skool? CTRL X; CTRL C; CTRL V?

Journalism done!

Irony upon irony, the Scroogequest story came accompanied with adverts warning: “SCAM ALERT…avoid scams and rip-offs!”

Even algorithms can detect bullshit now!