COUNCIL STAFF’S WOKE-SHOP DAY!

CRUMBRIA: 1.7.2026

TAXPAYERS toiling away today to pay their bills may be thrilled to hear Council staff are at Kendal Town Hall for woke workshops — with lunch thrown in.

Colleagues of Wokemoreland & Farcical Clowncil are taking part in an “Equity, Diversity and Inclusion Extravaganza”.

Attendance is entirely voluntary, in the, er, unofficially compulsory sense.

A cheesed off member of the Council wokeforce (job evaluation pending) slipped us the official poster accompanied by that emoji of a woman in a wizard outfit shrugging.

With the Council’s performance so far impressing precisely no-one, and the authority facing a £40m pound town hall version of bankruptcy, the wisdom of sending staff to Kendal to fart arse about with EDI worship, is, may we suggest, open to consultation.

Today’s event takes place in Kendal, formerly Ye Auld Grey Town and presumably rebranded as the Age-inclusive, Grey-presenting Multi-Racial Harmony Collective.

Kendal, of course, is the seat of the all-powerful Lib Dem dictatorship which runs the Clowncil with a wet marigold.

The Council leadership has told staff it will “embed EDI in everything” and “go beyond” the Equality Act 2010.

The Council has formed “EDI Action Groups” in seven big departments and poor worker bees face “Inclusive hiring” and “bias training”.

Why the big EDI panic?

We’ve known a fair few Council staff in our time. Their miseries often compounded by the latest political fashions wafting through the windows.

The last thing we’d ever accuse ANY of them of is pulling on the old white hood and pointy hat at the weekend for a run out on the Fell Pony with a box of Swan Vestas and a combustible crucifix.

The Chronic’s pronouns: What/the/absolute/frig.

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